5 Tips for Finding Calm in Stressful Situations

Stress is ubiquitous. Our physiology is programmed to navigate and adapt to various levels of stress. Our nervous and endocrine systems work together beautifully to help us quickly become primed to fight or flee in stressful situations, and to restore calm once we’ve reached safety. In our modern world, many of us are navigating both acute and chronic stressors. Our sympathetic nervous system is switched on high alert in order to protect us from perceived visible and invisible threats, yet we struggle to return to a parasympathetic state where we can rest, recover, and recuperate. Below I’m sharing 5 of my favorite tools for helping to find calm in stressful situations.

1. Take a breath. Bringing awareness to the breath is a simple way to drop back into our body. Practice inhaling through the nose for a count of 4, holding your breath at the top of the inhale for a count of 7, and exhaling slowly through the mouth for a count of 8. Allowing your exhale to be longer than your inhale activates your parasympathetic nervous system, letting your brain and body know that you’re safe and that it’s okay to relax. Repeat 3-8 times as needed.
2. Brew a cup of tea. The simple ritual of making tea – boiling the water, letting the tea steep, breathing in the aroma, feeling the warmth of the mug in your hands – helps us to connect to our senses and to the present moment. It allows us to slow down and quiet our minds, however briefly. Consider steeping nervines like lemon balm, chamomile, holy basil, rose and lavender; not only do these herbs make for a delicious brew, but also help to calm our nervous system.
3. Go within. Place your hands on your heart, belly, or both. Close your eyes if that feels comfortable. Feel the rise and fall of your breath and the sensation of your heartbeat beneath your fingertips (try for skin-to-skin contact if possible). Let your hands and these sensations remind you that you are here, now. It’s okay to retreat within; stay here as long as you need.
4. The 5-4-3-2-1. This technique helps to bring you out of fight-or-flight and back to your body and the present moment. Take a moment to center yourself. Feel your feet firmly planted and supported by the earth beneath you. Begin to scan your environment. What are 5 things you can see? 4 things you can feel? 3 things you can hear? 2 things you can smell? 1 thing you can taste? Take your time as you work through these, acknowledging and really experiencing each sensation. P.S. don’t get too hung up on the numbers – just work your way through the senses in whatever flow feels best to you.
5. Go for a walk/get outside. Sometimes it can be incredibly hard to motivate depending on the stressors you’re navigating, but I’ve never known a walk and some fresh to make anything worse. The bilateral movement of walking helps us to process and problem-solve. It clears our minds and helps us move physical tension out of the body. Getting outside helps us to literally step outside ourselves and connect to the world around us. The warmth of the sun, a blast of cold wind, flowers blooming, birds chirping, ants crawling – noticing the world around us can be tremendously helpful in melting (or at the very least pressing pause on) mental and physical tension.

Some days we may need one of these practices, some days we may need all five, some days we may need to ask for help from a trusted friend, family member, or mental health care professional. Look after yourself first, then be extremely generous.